Nails: Beautiful Butterfly

Today is my angel baby's birthday. Its only in recent years that I have been able to talk about the loss and even now I really dont like too. You know the thing with miscarriages is some people would not see it as losing a baby, being that you didnt birth your child or hold the child. I was younger and there were alot of people who did not want my baby born. The loss of my baby was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. They say things happen for a reason, and although I hurt even today, I can see the reasoning behind God's decision. Since then so much has happened and it needed my attention 100%.

Dear Angel,


Happy Birthday baby. I miss you so much. I cant help but think about how big you would right now. I see all the kids that are the age you would be, seeing all the milestones. As sad as I am, and as heartbroken as I will always be, I know that you are in the best possible hands. I know that all your wants and needs are being taken care of far better then I could have done. I am so glad that you got to meet your granny, she is a special lady. You are in great company up there. It would be too easy for me to sit back and cry, Lord knows I've done enough of that since losing you. Instead I want to help others who have gone through this. Other angel mommies like myself. I know that one day soon, when all this is over, I will finally get to hold you in my arms and see your smiling face. I cant imagine that I will ever let you go. Angel, mommy loves you with all my being. You are never far from my heart. Happy Birthday sweet face.

Love always,
Mommy

For this I used OPI Koala Bear-y and NOPI Kim-pletely. One of the one things I want to get across is one of the reasons why I havent talked about this. When someone loses a baby, you assumed the baby was born and then passed or the baby was stillborn. I lost a child whose eyes I've never got to look into. Whose little heartbeat I never got to hear. Whose laugh I never heard. The only difference is my baby was never born. Is the pain suppose to be lessen? The loss of a baby is painful beyond belief. The grief was both physical and mental. I think that it is important to know that a miscarriage hurts too. It is still a loss. There is a link on my sidebar October 15th. It is the day we remember pregnancy and infant loss. Although we remember everyday. The goal of this site is to promote support, education and awareness to grieving parents nation and world wide.